March Madness Day 23

We're almost at the finish line!  Can you believe how fast this month has gone by?

Loved reading all the writing posts so far this month.  So many great analogies from plants to the ocean.

Today I want to talk about something that I think affects all of us one time or another--

The green eyed monster:

Photo courtesy of

You know when this monster comes out.  It's so easy to think that everyone else is doing better, getting better deals, the top agents, etc, etc.

I remember once talking to a YA author who just got a huge book deal.  She told me she was a ten year plus overnight success.

Most successful authors have been writing for some time.  Sure, a few do grab those big deals right off the start but mostly it's those authors who persevere though those times of doubt and rejections.  They keep on the path.

Photo courtesy of

I think writing has a lot to do with faith.

Martin Luther King said, "Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase."

Isn't that the truth!

So what do you do when that green eyed monster shows up?

For me, I try to realize that everyone has their own path.  Also(and this is huge for me) I try really hard not to compare my journey to someone elses.  And yes, that can be really hard some days.

Faith.  Perseverance.

Check over at Shari's blog tomorrow!

And when you think you're not good enough, here's a little Sara Bareilles for you:


Dawn Ius said…
I love that song ;-)

And what a great post. I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I've been guilty of comparing my journey to someone else's...a couple of times.

But the more entrenched I get in this industry, the more I appreciate the various paths a writer can take to get there. I've also re-defined success...because my version will be different than someone else's.

That doesn't mean I'm immune to the green-eyed monster, though. Being a writer naturally breeds insecurity and self-doubt—which is why it's important to surround yourself with people that motivate you. Thank YOU for being such a great motivator this month. Good luck, and congrats on all of YOUR successes.
Denise Jaden said…
Yes, thank you both for being great motivators! I've definitely been guilty of comparing myself in the past. I think the longer you're in this business, though, the more you get to know some really great people--it may be impossible not to! And then it becomes more of a supportive atmosphere, rather than a comparative one. At least in my experience.
Carol Garvin said…
Thanks for this, Kim. For me, comparisons don't bring out 'the green-eyed monster' so much as plain old discouragement. When success comes to others who began writing much more recently than I did, it's easy to start questioning my abilities, my direction and my future. Fortunately, as Denise, says, there's also a very supportive writer's community helping to urge me on. :)
Aww, you guys...

This is why I love the WIPsters so gosh darned much. We celebrate and commiserate together. Comparisons are inevitable, but everyone has a different journey, a different story (pardon the pun) to tell.

The fact that we're here to support each other throughout the year is a beautiful thing. Sure, I think about my own writing career and the choices I've made thus far. Each twist and turn we've taken has brought us together in this creative sisterhood.

I regret nothing. I'm grateful for everything--good, bad, nefarious--that's made me who I am as a writer and as a person today.

And as Dory would say, "Just keep swimmin'!"

Not even J.K. Rowling was instantly J.K. Rowling. She had a long journey herself pre-Potter when she was Jo with a notebook and pen in a coffee shop. I think we should enjoy the "Jo" time of this writing adventure. Builds character--then we can write it into a book. ;)

We'll get there when the time is right for each of us.

Have a great week!

catknutsson said…
I'm with Carol - I don't get jealous as much as discouraged. I mean, I am SUPER happy for my writerly friends who have good things happen to them, because I know how hard this business can be. I love it when good things happen to good people! The struggle for me is not seeing their success as my own failure. Somedays are easier than others in that regard, and it's my own fault that I tend to withdraw when I'm struggling. I have a hard time asking for support. Guess that's something I need to work on. However, that's part of the reason why I've been doing this challenge, so hurrah for that!

Anyhow, today was a good day--I'm back on track with my story, and I've actually logged a decent word count for a change, so double hurrah!
Kim Baccellia said…

Ooh, yes, on the whole re-defining success. Husband and I had this conversation this morning. Just because you might have an agent, doesn't mean it's a for sure thing or that can lead to success. Each person's journey is different. I know some that self-pub and are NYT best selling authors and they did this without an agent.

Thanks on your comments!
Kim Baccellia said…

One huge plus about this biz is meaning some really amazing people that support you during your times of success and also help when you are discouraged.

And you're one of those people, Denise! Thanks for all the support you've given me!
Kim Baccellia said…

Man, I so understand the whole discouragement thing. I also have a tendency to doubt and question my so-called talent but I need to stop that. See? It's the whole comparing thing that is hard for me. I'm also glad that we have a very supportive writer's community which is there to help me get back on my feet and cheer me on.

Thanks for commenting!
Kim Baccellia said…

So true. We'll get there when it's our time! It's great to cheer on those who did make it and those who need that extra push.

Thanks for stopping in!
Kim Baccellia said…

I know about the withdrawal thing too. I had an incident that happened a while back, that I let it get to me. I snuck out to my car and stayed away for an hour, trying to regroup. Then realized this wasn't helping me at all. I went back to the conference and held my head up high. Of course, no one knew that one comment would really got to me. The big thing is not to sweat the small stuff. And we have such a great community. More than a few times, when I've been down? Others have come and helped me get back up.

Thanks for stopping in!
Bonnie Jacoby said…
I love hearing about the successes of writers that I know. They all worked so hard for it. But, I too feel discouraged. Why am I not there yet? If only I'd worked harder, put in more time, blogged, entered contests, ... the list goes on.

Sometimes we are harder on ourselves than anyone else would ever be. I try to remind myself of how much I've done compared to last year. Sure, it's not the same path as others, but it is mine and each year I'm further along than I was before.

This month has been great for meeting new writers and hearing about all your journeys with their bumps and how you all overcome obstacles. :)
I know that monster all too well. The one bonus to meeting him is that I generally get motivated to work harder. And I avoid the media where I see a lot of that kind of news, so I avoid distractions!

I've been feeling a lot like giving up lately. I always bounce back because the stories won't let go, but I sometimes worry that my bounce won't last forever.

But today is not the day I lose my bounce, so here I go...
Kim Baccellia said…

So, so true! I also love to hear about my friend's successes but then I wonder why I'm not there yet. Just yesterday had our ES tell me she was surprised I didn't have an agent yet. Sigh. But then I look back on how much I've accomplished which includes just 'wishing' I'd write a novel to actually finishing 5 novels, with 3 published and another one to come out soon. It's a progress. For some it seems they got it easier than others but even they had to pay their dues.

Thanks for stopping in!
Kim Baccellia said…
Mary Ann,

You can do it! Si, se puede!!!!

Sprinkling a literal amount of fairy plotting dust your way!!!!
Shari Green said…
Thanks so much for this, Kim. Sorry I missed checking-in (better late than never??).

Chuck Wendig tweeted this last week: "There's no fast track. There's just YOUR track. You've got a path, and you gotta walk it. It's easy for some, hard for others." So, very much like what you're's a very good reminder. (And comparing our journey with someone else's never ends well, does it? lol)
Kim Baccellia said…

Never too late to check in!

Love your quote! Thanks for sharing!

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