#YesAllWomen

Yet another shooting. Each time I hear of one, I weep. This recent one though really hit home.

http://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-me-ln-isla-vista-shooting-suspect-feared-police-visit-would-foil-attack-20140524-story.html

The shooter in question was the son of a film director. He planned the shooting after being 'rejected'. Apparently he posted some things on line.

Here's one very chilling post from one of his videos: "I'm 22 years old and still a virgin, never even kissed a girl. And through college, 2 1/2 years, more than that actually, I'm still a virgin. It has been very torturous,” he said. "The popular kids, you never accepted me and now you will all pay for it. Girls, all I ever wanted was to love you, be loved by you. I wanted a girlfriend. I wanted sex, love, affection, adoration.”

“"You forced me to suffer all my life, now I will make you all suffer,” he said. “All you girls who rejected me, looked down upon me, you know, treated me like scum while you gave yourselves to other men. And all of you men for living a better life than me, all of you sexually active men. I hate you. I hate all of you. I can't wait to give you exactly what you deserve, annihilation."


I grew up with violence. My father was abusive. I was almost abducted at gunpoint when I was 17 years old but when I testified at the creep's trial? His lawyer told the judge that it was my 'tight' clothes that put 'bad' thoughts in his client's mind. As if that is reason enough to want to rape a girl.

Still, I felt guilty and bad. And yes, I burned those pants.

A few times in junior college, I had strange guys just come up and grab my chest or butt. Once I even had a strange guy on a bike try to open my car door while I was waiting at a light. He was on a bike and wouldn't give up. I ended up 'hitting' the bike and taking off.

Another time when I got off at work and had to walk to my grandfather's house around 11pm, a car full of drunk guys verbally assaulted me and tried to grab me. There was an open field close by. Somehow I was able to get away.

I'd had my own close calls with one exboyfriend who told me that 'God told him that I was to be his wife." He tried to grab me and take off to Reno to force me to marry him. I was 20 years old. I almost jumped out of the car to get away. For a while I had to have friends take me to and from work and school as he stalked me and sent very scary letters. He even blamed me for him getting another girl pregnant.

The thing is that some guys(not all) think it's acceptable to do things like this. That the girl has the responsibility to not have it happen. How many times how we heard this? Even the police and other authorities either do nothing when you report a case of harrassment(I know, this happened to me more than a few times) or you're told that maybe if you didn't dress that way or lead the guy on, well, he wouldn't have tried to do something to you.

Then the ultimate tragedy hit home.

After I left for a private college, my one sister and I tried to get our mother to a shelter. She'd been abused constantly from our father. No one did anything. People looked the other way. Or worse, told us that we had a responsibility to fellowship our father into the church. As if. Then I got a phone call one Saturday morning. The very thing we feared would happen to my mother, happened to my sister Colette. She'd been in an abusive relationship and finally 'broke' it off. He threatened her. She went to the police and applied for a restraining order. The police told her that they usually didn't work.

Within 24 hours she was dead.

Yes, her ex-boyfriend stalked her and made a plan to kill her because if he couldn't have her, no one else would either.

My sister was 26 years old.



**Colette is on the far right hand side.

We only found out after her death, that David had written a letter detailing what he'd do and how he'd kill himself afterwards.

Some people feel uncomfortable that I still mention my sister's murder since it happened back in 1993. I tell them that something this horrific doesn't leave you. The hole in your heart never mends. Also I want to have a face and name to the senseless violence that continues to this day. I don't want my sister's death to be forgotten.

I'm also so SICK of all those that say, "Well, I'm sorry that your sister was murdered but guns didn't kill her. Her ex did."

Uh, yes, a gun did which was easy for him to get.

I'm just sick of hearing all the 'my rights' will be violated if there are stricter gun laws/background checks.

Have you ever once heard about the rights of the victims? Or the families?

Also enough with blaming women. Put the blame where it should be on those who commit these crimes against women.

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

And for that reason I will speak out #YesAllWomen Because there is strength in this. Also there is some comfort knowing that we aren't alone.

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